By moving toward a learning conversation, you increase your chances of persuading the other person, and that you will learn something that changes your understanding of the problem.Anytime a conversation feels difficult, something beyond the apparent substance of the conversation is at stake for you.The identity conversation looks inward, and looks at the effects on your self-esteem, your self-image, and your sense of place in the world.Difficult conversations do not just involve feelings, but they are at their very core about feelings, and so you cannot avoid talking about them.
Difficult conversations how to#
The feelings conversation is how to handle the feelings that will inevitably arise.Talking about blame distracts us from exploring why things went wrong and how we might correct them going forward.
We assume intentions from other people's behavior, but such intentions are complex, and so our invented stories are typically very inaccurate. Moving away from the truth assumption, or assuming that you're right, lets us understand the perceptions, interpretations, and values of both sides. Not about what is true, but about what is important. Difficult conversations is almost never about getting the facts right, it's about conflicting perceptions, interpretations, and values. The what happened? conversation is where we struggle with different stories about who's right, who meant what, and who's to blame. The gap between what you're saying and what you're thinking is part of what makes a conversation difficult. The Problem Chapter 1: Sort Out the Three Conversations The best we can do is reduce fear and anxiety, and get better results in the face of tolerable odds. Avoiding a problem will make you feel taken advantage of, your feelings will fester, you'll wonder why you didn't stick up for yourself, and you'll rob the other person of an opportunity to improve. A difficult situation is any situation of which we fear the consequences. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Mostīy Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen and Roger Fisher Introduction
0 kommentar(er)
